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Hi. I’m Chris Shelton. I’m a writer, blogger and video producer. I grew up in the Church of Scientology and worked for the organization for 25 years.
大家好,我是克理斯・薛爾頓。我是一位作家、部落格主,我也是影片製作人。我在山達基教會的環境下長大,也在海洋機構工作過二十五年的時間。

People call Scientology a cult. And they’re right. It is a cult.
許多人把山達基稱作『邪教』,沒錯,山達基就是一個邪教。

But the last people who are ever going to realize that, are the Scientologists.
但是,最無法察覺到『山達基是邪教』這一事實的人,往往就是山達基人。

Their faith is such a shallow and fragile thing, they can’t stand for anyone to challenge or question anything about it. They just fall to pieces when you do. I’ve tried reaching out to some Scientologists I used to know but they’d rather keep their heads in the sand than even acknowledge that I exist. It makes me sad because I miss them.
山達基人的信仰基礎是非常淺薄與脆弱的,他們無法忍受任何人對山達基提出一點質疑或是挑戰,在這些不同聲音與質疑之前,山達基人是非常不堪一擊的。我曾經試著與我那些山達基舊識們聯絡,但是,他們寧願像鴕鳥一樣繼續把頭埋在沙裡,也不願意承認有我這個人的存在。我為他們感到痛心,因為,我想念他們。

How has my life been different since I left? Oh man, there are so many things I could say.
而我呢?離開山達基之後,人生真的有什麼大不同的嗎?喔,天哪!我可有一籮筐的故事要說了。

But I guess the best way to put it, is that my life has been a lot less…crazy. For instance,
用一句最簡單的話形容:我的人生,已經不再像以前那樣瘋狂與錯亂了。舉幾個例子來說吧:

I no longer believe that L. Ron Hubbard and David Miscavige are somehow blessed with divine infallibility and are really smarter than everyone else.
我再也不覺得『羅恩·賀伯特』還有『大尾·迷失凱子雞』這些人物是什麼神通又廣大的傢伙,他們並沒有比一般人聰明到哪裡。

I no longer believe that if the leaders of the nations of Earth would just listen to Scientology, that the Scientologists would set everything straight with the world.
我再也不會相信:地球上所有的國家領袖,只要他們接受與聽從山達基,山達基人就會開荊斬棘的把世界導向正軌...... 這種鬼話。

I no longer fear the consequences of asking too many questions about things in Scientology that don’t make any sense, like why so much money is being raised to buy great big church buildings which stand empty.
我再也不用害怕,一旦質疑山達基內部的種種荒誕之後會有什麼下場。比如說,為什麼教會要搜刮信徒那麼多捐款,購買一棟又一棟巨大浮誇、卻也空空如也的房地產?

I will no longer have to undergo hard labor or rigorous “ethics programs” because I’m asking too many questions or because I’m not working hard enough or because I’ve demonstrated a lack of faith.
我再也不用接受會整死人的體能勞改,或是嚴厲的『品格改造』,只因為我問了太多的問題,或是我工作不夠努力,甚至只是因為我表現出對組織的忠誠度不再優良。

I no longer have to listen to anyone telling me how I should think or act or speak, or how to raise my kids or whether I can even get married and have kids.
我再也不需要聽從別人指示我該怎麼思考、該怎麼做事、該怎麼說話......或是該如何教導我的孩子,或是我到底該不該結婚生子。

I no longer fear the Internet or have to screen out anti-Scientology data in order to protect my immortal soul for all of eternity.
我再也不用害怕使用互聯網,為了我的永生與不朽的靈魂,我必須上網去找出與過濾那些各式各樣的反山達基的資料。

I no longer believe that I am in a unique position to save all the other ignorant human beings on the planet because of the special knowledge and status I have as a Scientologist.
我再也不相信自己是個什麼不可一世的人物,必須拯救這世界上所人類的愚蠢,只因為我握有什麼特別的知識,還是『山達基人』這身份又是多麼的特殊。

I no longer feel that the end justifies the means, nor that anything I do for Scientology is right just because it’s for Scientology.
我也不再認為:『為了(保護)山達基,凡事可以不擇手段』是一件正當的行為。我也不再認為:只要是為了山達基,就可以那樣做。

I no longer feel guilty or shameful for not giving all of my money and time to Scientology.
我不再因為沒有錢捐給教會,或是沒去替山達基做白工而感到罪惡或是羞愧。

I no longer feel like Scientology is more important than my family, my friends or pretty much anything else in my life, nor do I have to worry anymore about non-Scientologist friends or relationships.
跟我的家人、朋友,還有生命中的其他種種比較起來,我不再覺得山達基會比他們都還要重要。我也不用再顧忌會交往到非山達基人的朋友或是伴侶。

I no longer support the idea that Scientology needs lots and lots and lots of money to get things done and that it will never really have enough money to accomplish its goals.
我再也不支持山達基需索無度的要錢、搶錢......再多的錢也不夠他們去完成那些『事業』,而他們也因為錢永遠撈不夠,所以那些偉大的目標,到最後一件都沒有完成。

I no longer believe that it comes down to us Scientologists versus the rest of the delusional humanoids on this planet, nor do I have to wonder anymore why people can’t see how great Scientology obviously is.
我再也不相信這世界上到最後只會剩下『我們山達基人』,對抗著那些地球上剩下來的瘋狂人類。我再也不用八丈摸不著金剛的自問:明明山達基就好棒啊,為什麼世人看不見?

I no longer live in fear of leaving the Church of Scientology because of what they might do to me, my family, my job or my life.
我再也不用擔心害怕,萬一我離開山達基,山達基會對我、我的家人、我的工作、我的人生做出什麼不利的影響。

I no longer believe that my life is enhanced by my obedience to other men’s ideas of how I should live my life.
我再也不認為我的生活之所以得到提升,是因為我奉某人的教條為圭臬,還亦步亦趨的結果。

All of those things are what make Scientology a cult.
上述我所提到的種種,正是讓山達基被世人詬病為邪教的原因。

Once you have someone in and you can convince them that they are in a special and unique place where they are superior and different from everybody else, then it’s easy to hold on to them. Because they will convince themselves that anything wrong with the group is just a temporary phase and that everything is going to work out great in the end.
你只要把人帶進一個團體,並且灌輸他這個團體是多麼的卓越,而身為其中一員的你可也是多麼的優秀又與眾不同啊......用這種方式,你就很容易控制這人。因為接下來,如果這個團體出了什麼差錯的話,換成這些人會努力說服自己說:這些錯誤都只是暫時的,到最後一切都會沒事的。

 

Cults like Scientology preach that knowledge is dangerous and that you should purposefully keep your head in the sand.
普世中諸如山達基這樣的邪教,均揭示著『知識是危險的』這樣的教條,而且認為你必須很小心的把頭埋在沙裡,避開知識。

They create a mindset in their members that everyone who is not a Scientologist doesn’t know what they are talking about and shouldn’t be listened to. And that’s just not right.
這些邪教為信徒們制定了一套思考模式:『只要他不是山達基人,不用去管他說了什麼,因為就連他自己也不知道,所以,更不用把他的話聽進去。』而事情根本不是這樣的。

The day I woke up and saw that I needed to get out of Scientology was the day that I realized I was telling more lies than I was telling truth. I was having to put on a happy face and justify things going on around me that just didn’t make any sense that or that I just knew weren’t true. And I didn’t want to live that life anymore. I mean, who wants to go around telling lies and half-truths all the time just to make things look good? Not me. So I decided to get out.
在我覺醒的那一天、也就是我發現必須離開山達基的那一天時,我知道自己說了太多謊言而不是真相。過去的我必須武裝自己,每天假裝很快樂,無視於身邊所發生的荒謬與不合理,即使我內心深處知道那不是真的,也要去辯解與合理化那些謊言。但是現在,我再也不必像以前那樣過日子了,說得更明白一點吧:有誰會願意到處說謊?或是說著半套實話?只是要粉飾太平?我不是這樣的人,所以我決定離開。

Coming out of that situation, my head was wrapped around a pole and it took me months to figure things out. The thing that really turned it around was learning critical thinking skills.
要將自己拔出那深陷的泥沼,有好幾個月的時間,我可是像鬼打牆一樣的七上八下,而真正將我從這一團混亂中拯救出來的是學習與使用『批判性思考』 (
Critical thinking skills)。

The most important thing is to not be afraid of knowledge.
最重要的一點就是:絕對不要害怕知識。

No one person or group has all the answers to everything. What you have to do is go out there and get the answers for yourself. Free access to information and taking advantage of that access is the key to life. It unlocks everything.
沒有一個人或是一個團體擁有這世界上全部問題的答案。你要做的就是走出象牙塔,為自己找出答案。自由地運用所有資訊並且善用這種便利性才是生命之鑰。資訊自由解開所有的枷鎖。

My life is so much better now that Scientology is not a part of it.
生活中不再有山達基處處作梗之後,我的人生變得更好。

Now that I’m out, I will never, ever go back.
現在我自由了,我再也、再也不會想要回去了。

I’m Chris Shelton
我是克理斯・薛爾頓,

I’m a writer.
我是一位作家。

I’m a blogger.
我是部落格主。

I’m a video producer.
我是影片製作人。

I’m a rational human being
我是一位有理性的人類,

and I’m an ex-Scientologist.
我是前山達基人。

 

 註:Chris Shelton 過去在山達基的資歷簡介: 專業課程輔導員(Professional Course Superviosr),專業聽析員(Professional Auditor),資料系列分析員(Data Series Evaluator),二十五年海洋機構服務資歷(25 years in Sea Org),八年管理機構服務資歷(8 years in management),理想機構專員(Ideal Org missionaire)。

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